Sorry for the long wait but I'm back

Sorry for my impromptu hiatus!

I sprained my ankle badly at work in two places (doctors told me they had read about such sprains in their textbooks but never actually saw it in real life...yay me), than I had family stay over, and finally I had to took my wisdom teeth out which has been a painful and swollen experience.

I havent forgotten about you guys and I apologize for the long wait. To start fresh, new posts to my blog will begin Sept 1st.

Thanks for your patience!

Love you guys!

Femininity at Work Part II: How to dress in the Summer Months

Hello Dolls

I am continuing my posts on dressing feminely at work with a new chapter on dressing for the warm weather. I've worked in corporate office environments for years and I have observed a lot of corporate women adhere to company dress code during the winter months and follow their own dress code once the weather gets warm. The manner in which you dress speaks volumes about who you are. What you choose to wear outside of work is your business however its another issue when you bring some of that 'outside' wardrobe to the office. Some of the things I have seen worn to work when the weather is hot are, thigh high skirts, short sun dresses, wedges, flip flops, leggings, t-shirt dresses, summer sandals, tank tops with leggings, jogging pants (I kid you not) and t-shirts.

It doesnt look well on you as a professional woman to dress one way in the winter then start wearing tank tops, short skirts and short sun dresses in the summer. It sends the message that you are unprofessional, and unsuitibly dressed for your position. Not to mention it leaves room for misinterpretation of who you are as an employee and how seriously you take your job title. Its likened to a manager who wears skirt and pant suits in the winter and thigh bearing dresses with 3 inch wedges in the sumner. Would you respect her authority as your manager? How about if you were her boss? Would you consider her for that plum promotion with an important overseas client? Probably not! Thats the same scenario that plays out when you follow such a liberal dress code during the summer.

(I kid you not I have seen a similar outfit worn in a corporate office)

Now you might be saying, "well I hate this job anyway so I dont care how I dress to work. This is all the clothes I have". My answer to that is you never know what top management may have in the works in the way of new job opportunities for the company. Yes it may be true that you hate your job but what if that job you hate suddenly had a internal posting for a position you'd be interested in? I've seen it happen time and time again. You're stuck in  a department or company you cant stand. Your biding your time and hating your life when suddenly an advertisng posting comes out for an account with a big Japanese firm overseas. The pay is amazing, the work hours are ideal and the perks are almost unlimited. To top it off, its in your field. Good bye call centre, hello Advertising Account Executive. Would you show up to the interview in the t-shirt dress you wore to work the day before you saw the posting? Of course not! You want this job. You would pull out the best shirt, slacks or skirt you have in your closet, iron it and wear it to the interview.

Unfortunately, when your interview is over the hiring manager is not only going to look at your degree, and relevant work experience but also your work ethic at your present position, attitude and sorry to say but how you carry yourself around the office. That includes how you dress, your demenor and how you interact with your co workers. I've seen people who are very qualified, passed up because they do not dress professionaly at the office. No copany owner wants people who look like they dont care about their appearance working for them because how you dress represents the brand of the company and your job title. Therefore what you wear to work matters.

One of the things people judge their peers on is what they wear and management is always watching. I've heard some crazy things whispered behind the backs of employees whose work is exemplory but their wardrobe breaks all the company dress code rules (sloppy clothing, untucked shirts, crazy colour combinations or sexy clothing). Almost every time the person making the comment is a manager, director or someone in upper management and their disdain for that individual completely erases that persons proven job performance.

For example, a friend of mine who is a really good accountant doesnt care how his dress shirts look when he goes to work. Sometimes its untucked, or ripped. Other times his tie is off centre or his collar is half way up because he got distracted when he was putting on his tie at his desk. A manager who is quite influential made a remark one day calling my friend sloppy, irresponsible and unprofessional. I replied that he was a great accountant and the manager told me he didnt care about that because he looked sloppy and he would never want him working for his department. You cant get it any straighter then that statement.

My grandmother used to say, always look and dress your best whether you are sweeping the floor or running a multi-million dollar company. Dont wait until you "arrive" before you start dressing the part. If you are in a position at work that you dont like and you feel you are more qualified as a manager or in another department dress that way. Emulate the way the managers dress, provided she or he dresses professionally throughout the year. It will not only make you stand out but it subtly endears you to the individual you are emulating. It build commonality and they are more likely to see you as having something in common with them then not. Its a subtle mind trick but it works everytime. I know because I have done it many times and so have my female friends.

If you feel you might need some in depth help to change your wardrobe to better reflect your career goals consider going to a image consultant. If you live in the Toronto area I recommend Charmaine Mills Advance Image and Etiquette Consilting. She offers a wide range of services from colour consulting, to wardrobe consuting and brand and image consulting. Check her website out http://www.advanceimageconsulting.ca/ and browse her services


Here are some examples of dressing for the warm summer months while still being feminine and most of all professional.


1. Cover your sleeves

A suit dress or blouse with capped sleeves looks more professional then a sleeveless one. If you have to wer a sleevless blouse pair it with a short sleeved or cap sleeved jacket or vest.

2. Jackets

Wearing jackets will instantly give your attire more authority but if you dont have any meetings or clients its ok to opt for a pretty collard blouse instead. The collar will convey authority in place of thesuit jacket and you will still look professional.

3. The Sheath Dress

I know I just finished commenting about covering your sleeves but a popular alternative these days is the Sheath dress. Paired with a jacket it looks really professional. But if you choose to not wear a jacket it looks professional as well. Just remember to slip on the jacket before you walk into a meeting to add an extra air of authority.

4. The Classic White Shirt

Every professional attire needs a good white collared shirt in both the long and short sleeved version.

Thanks Dolls for reading and I hope you all got some valuable information from this post. If you want to leave a comment click on the pink bubble beside the title of this post.

My next post in this series on Femininity at work will be on Feminine Hairstyles that are appropriate for work.

Femininity at Work Series Part I: How you can dress femininely and still be powerful at work

Can you dress femininely and still be taken seriously at work? Keep reading and I will tell you just how you can do that.

Hello Dolls!!

Do you wonder if you can wear skirts and dresses to the office and still maintain your power as the boss, supervisor or a woman who is trying to make the right moves to climb the corporate ladder. The answer to that is yes you can (No Obama campaign pun intended with that). However, it is all in the way you wear your clothing, your pattern and style choice and the accessories and colours you choose to wear. It sounds complicated but if you want to be taken seriously and still maintain your femininity and be stylish its important that you pay attention to all of these details because what you wear says a lot about who you are as a person and worker.

Be mindful of what looks right on you and your body type. Mid thigh length skirts and dresses sends the wrong message about your professionalism, your ability to lead and be in charge some day if that is your aspiration. Remember you want to dress in a way that makes you look feminine and modern  yet still maintains a high level of professionalism and the company's brand and image. If you leave to work in a mid thigh length pencil skirt with a 2 inch slit, wearing shoes that you wore last Friday to the club your not sending a message of professionalism at best, at worst you are sending a message that you are cheap and trying to use your sexuality to get ahead.

Be careful with accessories. Too many and it comes off unprofessional. Limit your accessories to a nice necklace (not big and overwhelming), not big bracelets and limit it to no more then 2 rings per outfit.

*Special notes for Fuller figured and Taller women.

Fuller Figured Woman
If you are a fuller figured woman don't shy away from pattens and colours in the office. They are not your enemy. However chosen in the right combination they can be your best friend! You don't have to confine yourself to the colour black just because someone said that its "slimming", That's a myth. Black is only be slimming when the cut and fit of the fabric suits your body type no matter what your body type may be. Besides, why should you be chained to one colour because you are not a size 4? That's nonsense.

Embrace what you look like at this point in time and own it! You are beautiful and apart of being the best version of your femininity is accepting yourself  as a whole package and loving yourself from deep inside yourself right out to who you are on the outside. Love every curve you have. Your body is your adornment to clothe beautifully as you wish. For its your soul and beautiful spirit that counts the most. When your feeling happy, contented, confident and positive it will shine so brightly from the inside that no man will be able to resist you. They will be drawn to you like a moth to a flame. Be that flame and shine brightly my love. 

When choosing patterns its worth noting that some patterns can enhance your curves or create an illusion of added weight onto your frame. Floral prints are good but you will want to stay away from large floral prints especially in dresses and skirts. Bold blocks of colours helps to create a slimmer silhouette. Horizontal strips are not a good choice for a fuller figured woman as it will make you look wider. They draw the eyes around the body and creates width on the wearer. Vertical stripes draws the eyes down which is what you want because it makes you look slimmer.  The same doesn't always hold true for horizontal blocks of bold colour. The trick to wearing these types of dresses, skirts or tops is to try to always(as much as the fit and cut of the dress allows)  have defined a waist so you don't get lost in the colour and look like your wearing a tent.

Here are some picture ideas for you to look at to get an idea of how beautiful you can dress yourself now and how much power it gives to your brand and image as a feminine powerful woman in the office.

I like this outfit for the orange colour but I don't recommend the shoes, bangles or bag together for the office. I think this would look amazing with a white long sleeve blazer and beige heels

Taller Women

Don't be afraid to wear heels in the office. I've heard it all before! "She's tall what does she need heels for?" or "why would she want to be taller?". Tall is beautiful not to mention downright stunning! Own your height and be the beautiful tall woman that you are. Why be a shrinking wall flower hiding in flats because others who may be shorter than you  (with little to no self esteem if they are sneering at your desire to wear heels) don't like that you are "already tall" and daring to wear shoes that make you taller. Own your body, love every inch you have and wear those heels then strut passed the "nay sayers" and flick them your warmest smile! Check it out! You go girl!

Heels makes an outfit look nice, feminine and sexy. Nothing wrong with that. Now lets make an important note. Electric orange, or green heels or any other extremely bright,'I'd wear this to a picnic or the club' type colours in the office is not the best choice. At the end of the day you must make colour choices that adheres to your companies dress code not to mention shows that you have good taste. Orange heels with a green dress, or white skirt doesn't show good taste. It makes you look loud, gaudy, attention seeking (lets not make it that obvious) and tacky. Great colour choices are reds, pinks, blues, beige, whites, black, greys, browns and darker purples. Tiger prints and zebra prints are nice as well as long as they are not overwhelming. A great colour choice I have seen is a black pencil skirt and top with red bottom Loubouton leopard heels. Very nice and the woman who wore them was not someone anyone underestimated because of her shoe choice or skirt wearing habits.  She maintained her authority and influence while still looking feminine and pretty (many men smiled when she walked by while secretly fearing being on her bad side). You can dress femininely, wear heels, skirts and dresses and still maintain your authority and power. Its all about how you carry yourself, your confidence and your professionalism.

One thing you will find when you dress more femininely at the office is your male co workers will definitely take notice and begin treating you more like a lady; opening doors, pulling out seats, complimenting you etc. Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with your arms or hands but there is also nothing wrong with a man being inspired to do this for you. Accept it, smile, thank them then continue on with your day. You deserve to be treated with respect, honor and chivalry. Besides men like doing these types of things for a woman. It makes them feel good so why not right? Another thing you will notice are the dirty looks from some of the women in the office. This is normal and its ok. Its their insecurities not yours. Continue smiling and letting your femininity shine through. Never mute yourself so someone else can feel better about themselves. Why should you do all the work (muting yourself down) that they are not willing to do for themselves or have not yet finished doing? Don't sacrifice your self esteem for anyone else Doll.

Take a moment and look at these pictures of women dressed professionally for the office. Hopefully they will inspire you with ideas for your next purchase.

What do you think Dolls? Click on the pink bubble beside the title of this post and let me know :)

My next post will be Part II in this Series on Femininity at Work and how you can dress femininely for the warm weather

Ciao loves!

Feminine and Pretty: 3 Looks

Hello Dolls

I wanted to show some cute outfits that I put together on the ASOS website.

As you know I love Fashion. I firmly believe that how you dress is a part of the brand that you communicate to the outside world. As a multifaceted, vibrant woman the colours you wear are as vibrant and colourful as the person you are. So why not drape your body is pretty colours, and sensuous fabrics?

Take a look at this colour combination and 3 dress styles complete with shoes and accessories and tell me what you think.

Outfit # 1

ASOS Open Back Drape Dress $86.20

This is a gorgeous dress to wear out on the town on a date or for drinks out with the girls.

Shoes:

Caravela Girder Suede Platrform Heeled Sandal

Purses & Accessories

This purse is super cute. The yellow helps play off and bring out the beige in the dress. It has a hint of blue in the design. I dont like when an outfit is too matchy but the blue heels and purse coupled with the dres compliments each other. Its different but it works.

Outfit # 2

Unfortunately I dont have the dress description for this outfit but I wanted to use this dress as an example of a running errands or day out shopping dress

Very cute dress. It doubles as a saturday morning brunch dress or asa night out with the girls dress. Personally I prefer this as a saturday morning brnch then a quick jaunt down to St Lawrence Market then onto a few vintage shops to browse around. LOL





Shoes:
ASOS Pepper Mary Jane Platform Court Shoes with peep toe $86.20

Yea, I know what your thinking! These are kinda high to go for errands! Yes but they are tres cute, and they really play up the  femininity of the dress. And they are "do-able" if you have plenty of sit down time in between. Or if your a  high heel Fashionista these heels will be a cinch LOL

Purses & Accessories:

Pieces Demi Satchel $48.27

I love this messenger type satchels. Firstly they hold a lot of grea stuff like a novel, your make up etc as well it looks really great with this dress. Its a nice warm brown that plays beautifully off the blue dress and compliments it wonderfully.

Pieces Lajima Bracelet $20.69

Everygirl needs a great set of wooden bangles in her collection. How awesome are these?? They are earthy, warm and really brings the outfit together. I love earthy pieces like this bracelet. It grounds your outfit and compliments every wearer.

Outfit # 3

This is such a cute party dress! Perfect to go to the Drake Hotel or Embassy Nightclub. Its cute with a hint of exoticness from the feather design. Its flirty with the off the shoulder touch. Its just cute, flrity and fun. Perfect for the woman who wants to look trendy and cute but not reveal a lot of cleavage in the process.




Shoes & Accessories:

Asos Heights Tie Back High Sandals $77.58

These shoes demand attention with enough subtleness not to come off gaudy but with enough heel and straps to let everyone know your still the boss! I have a pair of shoes like this and when you put them on it brings your outfit up a level. Shoes matter! These shoes turns heads without the owners realizing exactly why and draws them in like a moth to a flame. You are the flame! Set it off girl!




Purses and Accessories:

ASOS Chiffon Ruffle Petal Clutch $43.10

 This purse is HOT!!!! The feathers are super exotic, sexy, and sensual. Perfect additon to your dress and heels combination. The dress says sexy and flirty, the heels says your the boss and the purse is exotic and sensual. What a pairing and what a force to be reckoned with!







Triangle Shaped Angular Smoked Resin Bangle $17.24

I chose this bangle because it brings out the purple colour in the dress. Sometimes its smart to pull out a subtle colour in an outfit by matching it with an accessory either with the earrings choice or in this case a bangle. The reason this is smart is becuase when you draw out the complimentary colours in an outfit it helps make your over outfit look better and makes you look your best. Ever see the best dressed list with 2 stars wearing the same outfit? What makes one look better over another (besides body type complimenting the outfit choice and fit of the dress) is the coloured accessories the women often chooses to wear with the outfit. It either makes her look great (even though she was caught dead with an outfit that someone else wore) or it makes her look not so great.

What do you guys think? Post a comment by clicking on the pink comment bubble at the top of the post :)

Talk to you ladies (and gents) soon :)

Happy Canada Day! And Happy 4th of July!

Hello Dolls!

Today is our Canada Day Long Weekend So there will be no new posts till July 4th, 2011.

Happy 4th of July long weekend to my American Friends!

Table Manners and The Feminine Woman

Hello Dolls!!

In this post I will be talking about the correct ways to Dining Etiquette. Now I'm sure we have all been presented with the common nightmare scenario at a dinner party or fancy restaurant on our hot date with Mr. Tall, Dark and Gorgeous and your not sure of what fork to use, how to slice your chicken, elbows on or off the table and who starts eating first.

If you have ever been in said scenario the this blog post is just for you.But in order to get the full experience lets take you through a date with Mr TDG (Tall, Dark and Gorgeous) from entrance of the restaurant through the dinner.


Chivalry is not dead

Let Mr.TDG open the door to the restaurant. It is not only chivalrous but its very feminine to allow the man to do this for you.

Once he has confirmed his reservation with the Hostess, follow the hostess to your table and allow him to pull out your chair. Don't stand beside the table and stare at him like a scolded child. Simply smile your sweetest smile and maintain your pleasantness. He will get the picture.

Conversation Time

By all means enjoy your time with Mr. TDG. What you talk about is entirely up to you and your date. Though a note to keep in mind are topics you should try to steer clear of at least till a few dates in. Politics, sex and religion especially if it's your first date. Ask questions that will allow you to get to know him and allow him to do the same for you. Try not to ramble on and dominate the conversation with unnecessary details that are too personal like excitement about your new anti-depressant pill re-fill, a crazy ex-boyfriend, the other guy your dating, or how you finally got rid of that nagging skin tag off your knee. He doesn't need to know those things and it will only shine a unflattering light and leave room for his mis-interpretation. Keep those kinds of specific details about yourself to a minimum. Keep it light, airy and flirty.

Ordering time

What do I order?? Whats best to order, and whats not?? Well, this is entirely up to you and your food preference. But if you are normally a chicken and rice for dinner type of girl don't make a beeline for the salad section on the menu and order the house garden salad with a light vinaigrette. He will see right through that healthy girl (this is what I eat all the time) act  it and you will come across fake. Be yourself and remember you are enough just the way you are! No need for airs of any type. Order what looks appetizing and what you can eat while still looking like a lady.
Now the food is here, we've had great conversation and I've left out unflattering details about myself, how do I eat this tasty food without looking like an ogre??

Napkin

Place your napkin on your lap and keep it there throughout the dinner

How to Cut your food and Fork and Knife Placement

When presented with having to slice through a particular meat on your plate you probably don't want to put the fork in your dominant hand and use it like the side of a shovel breaking up a ice patch to forcefully slice through the chicken. No, no!  Bad look.

First lets start with how to hold your knife and fork. Hold your knife in your right hand and your fork in the left. With the fork in your left hand, turn the fork so the tines (the spokes or for some sharp pointy things) are facing down toward your plate and place your index finger on the back of the fork. Use this position to insert your fork into your meat. This will allow you to place pressure on your food as you use your fork to hold it in place. Now with the knife in your left hand gently and evenly slice through your food slowly (not too slowly) till your desired piece is cut.

Once the piece of meat has been cut (be mindful not to cut a piece that's too big to fit into your mouth) use your fork, still in the same position as it was when you used it to hold the meat down, lift that food to your mouth. Then chew (mouth closed please), swallow, and enjoy! Once you have eaten all your food, place your cutlery tines up in the middle of your plate, mindful to keep your knife and fork together.

We ordered Wine, How do I drink it?

Well generally, you want to follow the  Look, Swirl, Smell, Taste rule.

Unless this is a formal wine tasting I think you can skip the Look phase where you hold it up to a white background and examine the colour of the wine. But you can still Swirl the wine in your glass to aerate the smell and release its aroma, You can give the wine a quick smell by placing your nose close to the rim of the glass and inhaling quickly and quietly (no loud sniffs please) taking note of its aroma, and type of wine it is, then you can Taste it by taking a 1/2 a mouth full, and swish it around allowing it coat your mouth. Take not of how it tastes and enjoy its exquisiteness.

Settling the Bill

The general rule of thumb is, if Mr. TDG asked you out on the date then he is to pay. When he asks for the bill don't reach for your purse when the waiter places it on the table. No! Simply keep the conversation going and allow him to pay the bill. Hopefully he is a gentleman and doesn't look to you to divvy up the bill down the middle. If he is, pay your half, don't fuss about it then never return his calls.

Hopefully this has been helpful to you Dolls  :)

Double Kisses !

How Your Negative Thoughts may be Sabotaging your Femininity Part III

 

Good evening Dolls!!

 

To continue in my series on How Your Negative Thoughts may be Sabotaging your Femininity, let's move on to Scenario 2

"God there goes Emily again. Look at how Josh and Leon are practically leaning out of their chair gawking at her. Men! God, every time she comes over here they gawk, or run over to talk to her and get her whatever she wants. What's so special about her anyway? I mean, we're both tall, and slim. I wear makeup too so why are they so on her every time she walks over? I can't stand her; she's such an attention whore. That's why she comes over here so they can gawk at her. Insecure bitch. I bet she is sleeping with one of them or she hoes around. Yea she probably hoes it up big time. That's probably why they all fall all over her. Hmpf! I feel better now!" STOP Right there! Turn around and get back over here and continue reading."

Envy is the result of disappointment with yourself and un accomplished hopes and dreams. Over time this disappointment turns into bitterness that hovers down deep and shows up when someone comes along who has achieved what you have always wanted for yourself. Of course, this isn't always so plain of an explanation to one's self so instead you find yourself "disliking this person", "not feeling her vibe" and reasoning this person's actions as negative, conniving and even purposefully spiteful to you as a person. It could be that Emily legitimately has to come down to that floor for business or she has friends down there and so happens to pass by where Josh and Leon are. Emily can't be responsible for these men's reactions to her as much as the girl in the scenario can illicit either men to change and notice her in the same way. It is what it is. Sorry, but if Emily is bubbly, smiles a lot, is witty, and has a happy countenance about her and these men gawk at her I hardly think it will stop if she decides to not come down to that floor anymore. I'd imagine that if they are reacting that way, I'd bet a million that there are more men who smile, stare or "gawk" at her too somewhere else in the building. Remember, our thoughts whether it be thinking about something that makes us feel good or it's something negative that makes us feel badly about something, either or sends out a frequency and affects our moods, demeanor, and ultimately the "vibe" we send out. That "vibe" is read by the people around us. If we are envious, jealous and generally "bad minded" towards other women the vibe we transmit tells everyone else that we are a jealous, envious and negative person who is INSECURE!! Men are very turned off by insecurity and can smell it a mile away (along with desperation-something we may or may not ever talk about here).

Insecurity undermines your femininity by keeping you in a cycle of self consciousness, self doubt, and ultimately low self esteem. Femininity and low self esteem can't co-exist with each other and still achieve the same objective of cultivating a powerful feminine energy. Femininity is about being your most confident, brightest and wonderful you. Confidence allows you to walk in a room with your head high, shoulders back and freely smile and give off an air of pleasantness because you are happy and confident with WHO you are and what YOU have to offer. You think of yourself as fabulous, you love yourself enough to not care if you're in a room with 20 pretty girls because you know you are stepping out with your best foot forward and you are enough. You're thinking positively, you're smiling and your femininity is genuine because it's coming from a real place from within that doesn't need to compete with anyone because it shines on its own merit and existence.

This is precisely the difference between a beautiful, sexy, woman who looks great yet when another pretty girl walks in the room her face immediately bends into a sour expression, her demeanor shifts, and she looks visibly displeased with the entrance of this new woman. Her confidence and beauty is superficial and she is really an insecure woman who is intimidated of the potential for this new woman to snag the attention of the men she was previously enjoying. If she truly knew she was enough, then she would smile and continue her conversation, even paying the new woman a compliment in her conversation with whomever she was speaking with. Nothing says sexier to a man when his woman or a woman is confident in herself and the fact that she is enough. He won't say, "Oh I can tell you think your enough", he will instead say, "she's very confident about herself. Hmm, what makes her so confident and content when other woman would have scoffed and become catty? There must be something different about this one. I wonder what it is". Then he will seek to figure it out. Once he is intrigued about what makes you, our sexy, confident and feminine self so different then it's the beginning grabbing and holding onto his attention to you and not the new pretty young thang that just walked in the door. And if he doesn't hold his attention on you but rudely gawks, stares or makes inappropriate comments then he's not the type of man you'd want to associate with (disrespectful, and shovanistic) anyway.

 

Does this make sense dolls??

 

I keep coming back to the same thing your thoughts! You can't escape it because it's not just what you think inside it comes across and is read by others. There is nothing worse than a pretty girl dressed femininely who looks pissed off, has an angry disposition about her and pushes everyone away with her presence. It's like a beautiful rose covered in disgusting worms; it's gorgeous but such a waste because even though you want to go near it, you dare not approach and you definitely don't want it to come near you.

 

What are your thoughts??