Femininity at Work Part II: How to dress in the Summer Months

Hello Dolls

I am continuing my posts on dressing feminely at work with a new chapter on dressing for the warm weather. I've worked in corporate office environments for years and I have observed a lot of corporate women adhere to company dress code during the winter months and follow their own dress code once the weather gets warm. The manner in which you dress speaks volumes about who you are. What you choose to wear outside of work is your business however its another issue when you bring some of that 'outside' wardrobe to the office. Some of the things I have seen worn to work when the weather is hot are, thigh high skirts, short sun dresses, wedges, flip flops, leggings, t-shirt dresses, summer sandals, tank tops with leggings, jogging pants (I kid you not) and t-shirts.

It doesnt look well on you as a professional woman to dress one way in the winter then start wearing tank tops, short skirts and short sun dresses in the summer. It sends the message that you are unprofessional, and unsuitibly dressed for your position. Not to mention it leaves room for misinterpretation of who you are as an employee and how seriously you take your job title. Its likened to a manager who wears skirt and pant suits in the winter and thigh bearing dresses with 3 inch wedges in the sumner. Would you respect her authority as your manager? How about if you were her boss? Would you consider her for that plum promotion with an important overseas client? Probably not! Thats the same scenario that plays out when you follow such a liberal dress code during the summer.

(I kid you not I have seen a similar outfit worn in a corporate office)

Now you might be saying, "well I hate this job anyway so I dont care how I dress to work. This is all the clothes I have". My answer to that is you never know what top management may have in the works in the way of new job opportunities for the company. Yes it may be true that you hate your job but what if that job you hate suddenly had a internal posting for a position you'd be interested in? I've seen it happen time and time again. You're stuck in  a department or company you cant stand. Your biding your time and hating your life when suddenly an advertisng posting comes out for an account with a big Japanese firm overseas. The pay is amazing, the work hours are ideal and the perks are almost unlimited. To top it off, its in your field. Good bye call centre, hello Advertising Account Executive. Would you show up to the interview in the t-shirt dress you wore to work the day before you saw the posting? Of course not! You want this job. You would pull out the best shirt, slacks or skirt you have in your closet, iron it and wear it to the interview.

Unfortunately, when your interview is over the hiring manager is not only going to look at your degree, and relevant work experience but also your work ethic at your present position, attitude and sorry to say but how you carry yourself around the office. That includes how you dress, your demenor and how you interact with your co workers. I've seen people who are very qualified, passed up because they do not dress professionaly at the office. No copany owner wants people who look like they dont care about their appearance working for them because how you dress represents the brand of the company and your job title. Therefore what you wear to work matters.

One of the things people judge their peers on is what they wear and management is always watching. I've heard some crazy things whispered behind the backs of employees whose work is exemplory but their wardrobe breaks all the company dress code rules (sloppy clothing, untucked shirts, crazy colour combinations or sexy clothing). Almost every time the person making the comment is a manager, director or someone in upper management and their disdain for that individual completely erases that persons proven job performance.

For example, a friend of mine who is a really good accountant doesnt care how his dress shirts look when he goes to work. Sometimes its untucked, or ripped. Other times his tie is off centre or his collar is half way up because he got distracted when he was putting on his tie at his desk. A manager who is quite influential made a remark one day calling my friend sloppy, irresponsible and unprofessional. I replied that he was a great accountant and the manager told me he didnt care about that because he looked sloppy and he would never want him working for his department. You cant get it any straighter then that statement.

My grandmother used to say, always look and dress your best whether you are sweeping the floor or running a multi-million dollar company. Dont wait until you "arrive" before you start dressing the part. If you are in a position at work that you dont like and you feel you are more qualified as a manager or in another department dress that way. Emulate the way the managers dress, provided she or he dresses professionally throughout the year. It will not only make you stand out but it subtly endears you to the individual you are emulating. It build commonality and they are more likely to see you as having something in common with them then not. Its a subtle mind trick but it works everytime. I know because I have done it many times and so have my female friends.

If you feel you might need some in depth help to change your wardrobe to better reflect your career goals consider going to a image consultant. If you live in the Toronto area I recommend Charmaine Mills Advance Image and Etiquette Consilting. She offers a wide range of services from colour consulting, to wardrobe consuting and brand and image consulting. Check her website out http://www.advanceimageconsulting.ca/ and browse her services


Here are some examples of dressing for the warm summer months while still being feminine and most of all professional.


1. Cover your sleeves

A suit dress or blouse with capped sleeves looks more professional then a sleeveless one. If you have to wer a sleevless blouse pair it with a short sleeved or cap sleeved jacket or vest.

2. Jackets

Wearing jackets will instantly give your attire more authority but if you dont have any meetings or clients its ok to opt for a pretty collard blouse instead. The collar will convey authority in place of thesuit jacket and you will still look professional.

3. The Sheath Dress

I know I just finished commenting about covering your sleeves but a popular alternative these days is the Sheath dress. Paired with a jacket it looks really professional. But if you choose to not wear a jacket it looks professional as well. Just remember to slip on the jacket before you walk into a meeting to add an extra air of authority.

4. The Classic White Shirt

Every professional attire needs a good white collared shirt in both the long and short sleeved version.

Thanks Dolls for reading and I hope you all got some valuable information from this post. If you want to leave a comment click on the pink bubble beside the title of this post.

My next post in this series on Femininity at work will be on Feminine Hairstyles that are appropriate for work.

Femininity at Work Series Part I: How you can dress femininely and still be powerful at work

Can you dress femininely and still be taken seriously at work? Keep reading and I will tell you just how you can do that.

Hello Dolls!!

Do you wonder if you can wear skirts and dresses to the office and still maintain your power as the boss, supervisor or a woman who is trying to make the right moves to climb the corporate ladder. The answer to that is yes you can (No Obama campaign pun intended with that). However, it is all in the way you wear your clothing, your pattern and style choice and the accessories and colours you choose to wear. It sounds complicated but if you want to be taken seriously and still maintain your femininity and be stylish its important that you pay attention to all of these details because what you wear says a lot about who you are as a person and worker.

Be mindful of what looks right on you and your body type. Mid thigh length skirts and dresses sends the wrong message about your professionalism, your ability to lead and be in charge some day if that is your aspiration. Remember you want to dress in a way that makes you look feminine and modern  yet still maintains a high level of professionalism and the company's brand and image. If you leave to work in a mid thigh length pencil skirt with a 2 inch slit, wearing shoes that you wore last Friday to the club your not sending a message of professionalism at best, at worst you are sending a message that you are cheap and trying to use your sexuality to get ahead.

Be careful with accessories. Too many and it comes off unprofessional. Limit your accessories to a nice necklace (not big and overwhelming), not big bracelets and limit it to no more then 2 rings per outfit.

*Special notes for Fuller figured and Taller women.

Fuller Figured Woman
If you are a fuller figured woman don't shy away from pattens and colours in the office. They are not your enemy. However chosen in the right combination they can be your best friend! You don't have to confine yourself to the colour black just because someone said that its "slimming", That's a myth. Black is only be slimming when the cut and fit of the fabric suits your body type no matter what your body type may be. Besides, why should you be chained to one colour because you are not a size 4? That's nonsense.

Embrace what you look like at this point in time and own it! You are beautiful and apart of being the best version of your femininity is accepting yourself  as a whole package and loving yourself from deep inside yourself right out to who you are on the outside. Love every curve you have. Your body is your adornment to clothe beautifully as you wish. For its your soul and beautiful spirit that counts the most. When your feeling happy, contented, confident and positive it will shine so brightly from the inside that no man will be able to resist you. They will be drawn to you like a moth to a flame. Be that flame and shine brightly my love. 

When choosing patterns its worth noting that some patterns can enhance your curves or create an illusion of added weight onto your frame. Floral prints are good but you will want to stay away from large floral prints especially in dresses and skirts. Bold blocks of colours helps to create a slimmer silhouette. Horizontal strips are not a good choice for a fuller figured woman as it will make you look wider. They draw the eyes around the body and creates width on the wearer. Vertical stripes draws the eyes down which is what you want because it makes you look slimmer.  The same doesn't always hold true for horizontal blocks of bold colour. The trick to wearing these types of dresses, skirts or tops is to try to always(as much as the fit and cut of the dress allows)  have defined a waist so you don't get lost in the colour and look like your wearing a tent.

Here are some picture ideas for you to look at to get an idea of how beautiful you can dress yourself now and how much power it gives to your brand and image as a feminine powerful woman in the office.

I like this outfit for the orange colour but I don't recommend the shoes, bangles or bag together for the office. I think this would look amazing with a white long sleeve blazer and beige heels

Taller Women

Don't be afraid to wear heels in the office. I've heard it all before! "She's tall what does she need heels for?" or "why would she want to be taller?". Tall is beautiful not to mention downright stunning! Own your height and be the beautiful tall woman that you are. Why be a shrinking wall flower hiding in flats because others who may be shorter than you  (with little to no self esteem if they are sneering at your desire to wear heels) don't like that you are "already tall" and daring to wear shoes that make you taller. Own your body, love every inch you have and wear those heels then strut passed the "nay sayers" and flick them your warmest smile! Check it out! You go girl!

Heels makes an outfit look nice, feminine and sexy. Nothing wrong with that. Now lets make an important note. Electric orange, or green heels or any other extremely bright,'I'd wear this to a picnic or the club' type colours in the office is not the best choice. At the end of the day you must make colour choices that adheres to your companies dress code not to mention shows that you have good taste. Orange heels with a green dress, or white skirt doesn't show good taste. It makes you look loud, gaudy, attention seeking (lets not make it that obvious) and tacky. Great colour choices are reds, pinks, blues, beige, whites, black, greys, browns and darker purples. Tiger prints and zebra prints are nice as well as long as they are not overwhelming. A great colour choice I have seen is a black pencil skirt and top with red bottom Loubouton leopard heels. Very nice and the woman who wore them was not someone anyone underestimated because of her shoe choice or skirt wearing habits.  She maintained her authority and influence while still looking feminine and pretty (many men smiled when she walked by while secretly fearing being on her bad side). You can dress femininely, wear heels, skirts and dresses and still maintain your authority and power. Its all about how you carry yourself, your confidence and your professionalism.

One thing you will find when you dress more femininely at the office is your male co workers will definitely take notice and begin treating you more like a lady; opening doors, pulling out seats, complimenting you etc. Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with your arms or hands but there is also nothing wrong with a man being inspired to do this for you. Accept it, smile, thank them then continue on with your day. You deserve to be treated with respect, honor and chivalry. Besides men like doing these types of things for a woman. It makes them feel good so why not right? Another thing you will notice are the dirty looks from some of the women in the office. This is normal and its ok. Its their insecurities not yours. Continue smiling and letting your femininity shine through. Never mute yourself so someone else can feel better about themselves. Why should you do all the work (muting yourself down) that they are not willing to do for themselves or have not yet finished doing? Don't sacrifice your self esteem for anyone else Doll.

Take a moment and look at these pictures of women dressed professionally for the office. Hopefully they will inspire you with ideas for your next purchase.

What do you think Dolls? Click on the pink bubble beside the title of this post and let me know :)

My next post will be Part II in this Series on Femininity at Work and how you can dress femininely for the warm weather

Ciao loves!

Feminine and Pretty: 3 Looks

Hello Dolls

I wanted to show some cute outfits that I put together on the ASOS website.

As you know I love Fashion. I firmly believe that how you dress is a part of the brand that you communicate to the outside world. As a multifaceted, vibrant woman the colours you wear are as vibrant and colourful as the person you are. So why not drape your body is pretty colours, and sensuous fabrics?

Take a look at this colour combination and 3 dress styles complete with shoes and accessories and tell me what you think.

Outfit # 1

ASOS Open Back Drape Dress $86.20

This is a gorgeous dress to wear out on the town on a date or for drinks out with the girls.

Shoes:

Caravela Girder Suede Platrform Heeled Sandal

Purses & Accessories

This purse is super cute. The yellow helps play off and bring out the beige in the dress. It has a hint of blue in the design. I dont like when an outfit is too matchy but the blue heels and purse coupled with the dres compliments each other. Its different but it works.

Outfit # 2

Unfortunately I dont have the dress description for this outfit but I wanted to use this dress as an example of a running errands or day out shopping dress

Very cute dress. It doubles as a saturday morning brunch dress or asa night out with the girls dress. Personally I prefer this as a saturday morning brnch then a quick jaunt down to St Lawrence Market then onto a few vintage shops to browse around. LOL





Shoes:
ASOS Pepper Mary Jane Platform Court Shoes with peep toe $86.20

Yea, I know what your thinking! These are kinda high to go for errands! Yes but they are tres cute, and they really play up the  femininity of the dress. And they are "do-able" if you have plenty of sit down time in between. Or if your a  high heel Fashionista these heels will be a cinch LOL

Purses & Accessories:

Pieces Demi Satchel $48.27

I love this messenger type satchels. Firstly they hold a lot of grea stuff like a novel, your make up etc as well it looks really great with this dress. Its a nice warm brown that plays beautifully off the blue dress and compliments it wonderfully.

Pieces Lajima Bracelet $20.69

Everygirl needs a great set of wooden bangles in her collection. How awesome are these?? They are earthy, warm and really brings the outfit together. I love earthy pieces like this bracelet. It grounds your outfit and compliments every wearer.

Outfit # 3

This is such a cute party dress! Perfect to go to the Drake Hotel or Embassy Nightclub. Its cute with a hint of exoticness from the feather design. Its flirty with the off the shoulder touch. Its just cute, flrity and fun. Perfect for the woman who wants to look trendy and cute but not reveal a lot of cleavage in the process.




Shoes & Accessories:

Asos Heights Tie Back High Sandals $77.58

These shoes demand attention with enough subtleness not to come off gaudy but with enough heel and straps to let everyone know your still the boss! I have a pair of shoes like this and when you put them on it brings your outfit up a level. Shoes matter! These shoes turns heads without the owners realizing exactly why and draws them in like a moth to a flame. You are the flame! Set it off girl!




Purses and Accessories:

ASOS Chiffon Ruffle Petal Clutch $43.10

 This purse is HOT!!!! The feathers are super exotic, sexy, and sensual. Perfect additon to your dress and heels combination. The dress says sexy and flirty, the heels says your the boss and the purse is exotic and sensual. What a pairing and what a force to be reckoned with!







Triangle Shaped Angular Smoked Resin Bangle $17.24

I chose this bangle because it brings out the purple colour in the dress. Sometimes its smart to pull out a subtle colour in an outfit by matching it with an accessory either with the earrings choice or in this case a bangle. The reason this is smart is becuase when you draw out the complimentary colours in an outfit it helps make your over outfit look better and makes you look your best. Ever see the best dressed list with 2 stars wearing the same outfit? What makes one look better over another (besides body type complimenting the outfit choice and fit of the dress) is the coloured accessories the women often chooses to wear with the outfit. It either makes her look great (even though she was caught dead with an outfit that someone else wore) or it makes her look not so great.

What do you guys think? Post a comment by clicking on the pink comment bubble at the top of the post :)

Talk to you ladies (and gents) soon :)

Table Manners and The Feminine Woman

Hello Dolls!!

In this post I will be talking about the correct ways to Dining Etiquette. Now I'm sure we have all been presented with the common nightmare scenario at a dinner party or fancy restaurant on our hot date with Mr. Tall, Dark and Gorgeous and your not sure of what fork to use, how to slice your chicken, elbows on or off the table and who starts eating first.

If you have ever been in said scenario the this blog post is just for you.But in order to get the full experience lets take you through a date with Mr TDG (Tall, Dark and Gorgeous) from entrance of the restaurant through the dinner.


Chivalry is not dead

Let Mr.TDG open the door to the restaurant. It is not only chivalrous but its very feminine to allow the man to do this for you.

Once he has confirmed his reservation with the Hostess, follow the hostess to your table and allow him to pull out your chair. Don't stand beside the table and stare at him like a scolded child. Simply smile your sweetest smile and maintain your pleasantness. He will get the picture.

Conversation Time

By all means enjoy your time with Mr. TDG. What you talk about is entirely up to you and your date. Though a note to keep in mind are topics you should try to steer clear of at least till a few dates in. Politics, sex and religion especially if it's your first date. Ask questions that will allow you to get to know him and allow him to do the same for you. Try not to ramble on and dominate the conversation with unnecessary details that are too personal like excitement about your new anti-depressant pill re-fill, a crazy ex-boyfriend, the other guy your dating, or how you finally got rid of that nagging skin tag off your knee. He doesn't need to know those things and it will only shine a unflattering light and leave room for his mis-interpretation. Keep those kinds of specific details about yourself to a minimum. Keep it light, airy and flirty.

Ordering time

What do I order?? Whats best to order, and whats not?? Well, this is entirely up to you and your food preference. But if you are normally a chicken and rice for dinner type of girl don't make a beeline for the salad section on the menu and order the house garden salad with a light vinaigrette. He will see right through that healthy girl (this is what I eat all the time) act  it and you will come across fake. Be yourself and remember you are enough just the way you are! No need for airs of any type. Order what looks appetizing and what you can eat while still looking like a lady.
Now the food is here, we've had great conversation and I've left out unflattering details about myself, how do I eat this tasty food without looking like an ogre??

Napkin

Place your napkin on your lap and keep it there throughout the dinner

How to Cut your food and Fork and Knife Placement

When presented with having to slice through a particular meat on your plate you probably don't want to put the fork in your dominant hand and use it like the side of a shovel breaking up a ice patch to forcefully slice through the chicken. No, no!  Bad look.

First lets start with how to hold your knife and fork. Hold your knife in your right hand and your fork in the left. With the fork in your left hand, turn the fork so the tines (the spokes or for some sharp pointy things) are facing down toward your plate and place your index finger on the back of the fork. Use this position to insert your fork into your meat. This will allow you to place pressure on your food as you use your fork to hold it in place. Now with the knife in your left hand gently and evenly slice through your food slowly (not too slowly) till your desired piece is cut.

Once the piece of meat has been cut (be mindful not to cut a piece that's too big to fit into your mouth) use your fork, still in the same position as it was when you used it to hold the meat down, lift that food to your mouth. Then chew (mouth closed please), swallow, and enjoy! Once you have eaten all your food, place your cutlery tines up in the middle of your plate, mindful to keep your knife and fork together.

We ordered Wine, How do I drink it?

Well generally, you want to follow the  Look, Swirl, Smell, Taste rule.

Unless this is a formal wine tasting I think you can skip the Look phase where you hold it up to a white background and examine the colour of the wine. But you can still Swirl the wine in your glass to aerate the smell and release its aroma, You can give the wine a quick smell by placing your nose close to the rim of the glass and inhaling quickly and quietly (no loud sniffs please) taking note of its aroma, and type of wine it is, then you can Taste it by taking a 1/2 a mouth full, and swish it around allowing it coat your mouth. Take not of how it tastes and enjoy its exquisiteness.

Settling the Bill

The general rule of thumb is, if Mr. TDG asked you out on the date then he is to pay. When he asks for the bill don't reach for your purse when the waiter places it on the table. No! Simply keep the conversation going and allow him to pay the bill. Hopefully he is a gentleman and doesn't look to you to divvy up the bill down the middle. If he is, pay your half, don't fuss about it then never return his calls.

Hopefully this has been helpful to you Dolls  :)

Double Kisses !

How your negative thoughts could be Sabotoging your Femininity Part II

How your Negative Thoughts Are Sabotaging your Femininity Part II


Good evening Dolls. Thanks for your patience, life got a bit hectic but I am back with part II of my Series on What lies Beneath. I feel really passionate about this subject because I know how self destructive this type of behavior can be. Its like having a goal to build something then with every 10 bricks you lay with one hand you simultaneously take away 2 with another.

In my prior post I asked a series of questions and asked If any of those scenarios sounded familiar to you. If you answered yes to any of them please keep reading. If you haven’t then still read on, you might learn something new or if at the very least nod in agreement. So let’s get started.
Scenario 1
“I wish Shane would call me. God I miss him and I wish we could be together again. I know this time I can make it work with him. I will be sexier, match my panties with my bra. I’ll even throw out all my cotton panties for those thongs and g-strings. He won’t be able to resist me. I’m going to be extra feminine and pretty. I’ll grow my hair out because he used to love me with long hair. I’ll even get hair extensions or one of those lace front thingy’s because I read that men love long hair. He really used to love mine. I’m going to wear my fitted clothes, hit the gym and wear brighter colours because he hated my drab grey and black wardrobe. By the time I’m done wowing him with my cute Feminine self he will have no choice but to give us a chance. He will love the new me! I can’t wait!”
Then you go down to the local gym, purchase an expensive membership and start planning how you will re-arrange your finances such as eating to purchase a new wardrobe. HOLD UP - stop right there.

*taps microphone* “Is this thing on???” *tap! Tap!* “Can you hear me? Ok good.”

I’m going to cut to the chase and say this right off the bat. YOU CANT MAKE A MAN WANT YOU! NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, SAY, NO MATTER HOW YOU ACT, BEND YOURSELF INTO A PRETZEL AND MAGICALLY BECOME HIS “IDEAL” WOMAN. IF HE DESNT WANT YOU FOR YOU, HE WONT WANT YOU NO MATTER WHO, OR WHAT YOU TRANSFORM YOURSELF TO BE. Skinny, slim, pretty, bright colours, thongs, matching bras and panties and a long weave it won’t matter; he simply wont stay. But there is good news. If you stop and take stalk of why you are a wonderful, loving, worthy woman of love, affection and all the good things that life has to offer you will attract a man who will want to be with you. But wait; there is even more good news. If you love yourself on top of that, treasure your beauty, your essence, respect yourself and be a HAPPY and CONTENT woman, it will be like a strong magnet that no man can resist. You must love yourself. You must respect yourself. You must establish boundaries regarding how people treat you and what you want out of your relationships. You must be happy and have a positive countenance about yourself. You must be positive and you must be involved in life and everything it has to offer. IF YOU DON’T LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE, NO MAN WORTHY OF YOU WILL BE ATTRACTED TO YOU NOR WILL HE WANT TO BE WITH YOU!! Its harsh and for the negative, down on themselves type of woman this is like hearing that your favorite non fat ice cream really had 300 grams of fat per serving more than advertised on the package but it’s a reality and if you want to change and be the person you’ve dreamt of (deep down inside) being then this is what you have to do.

Ok, now that, that’s out of the way let me elaborate. I hope your still with me because there are some hard truths ahead that you need to hear. Yes, harder than what I just said.

1. You must love yourself

When you love yourself you treasure who you are. You accept yourself flaws and all and still think of yourself as fabulous. You recognize that those flaws exist but they don’t define who you are as a person. Combined with your abundance of amazing traits, together they make you who you are as a person and you love them just the same. When you love yourself you don’t constantly remind yourself of what you don’t like about yourself and when you make a mistake, you recognize it for what it is, a mistake and a learning experience and you move on. When you love yourself you keep fit because it makes you happy and you like being healthy. When you love yourself, you buy clothes because they look nice on you and they make you feel good. You buy them not because someone else will think it looks amazing on you (thus trying to please someone else), but because you think it looks great on you and you TRUST your own judgment. Trusting yourself and loving yourself goes hand in hand. You trust your own judgment, you trust your gut (vital!), you believe in yourself and your ability to accomplish whatever you set your mind to, you own your own domain, your brand, what makes you the fabulous person you are. You, as a beautiful, vital woman are your own brand each and every time you walk out the door, and your brand speaks about you every time you interact with other people including your co workers, your boss, dry cleaner, family, boy friend’s and most importantly other men.

“What does she mean by brand??”

Your brand is similar to the brand of a product except you are the product. For example, Pepsi is a brand and the Pepsico Company markets their product as a refreshing beverage. They pepper their commercials with smiling happy people, holding their product, interacting and having fun. Then comes the refreshing gulp and the commercial ends with a smiling and quenched Pepsi drinker. Same applies to you without the millions of dollars in advertising commercials.

You are a brand. But the advertising is not just in what you wear and how you carry yourself (that matters too but we won’t broach that topic very much in this post) but in how you feel, what you think and how you view the world. If you constantly focus on the bad, and negative things happening, if you don’t love yourself enough to want to make yourself happy for you, if you constantly try to re-brand yourself to fit someone else’s ideal and if you constantly think negatively of who you are as a person then you will send out a negative vibe that say, “I’m not worthy of anything good, so don’t waste your time on me. I’m a negative person who hates life, and I have nothing good to offer myself, you or anyone else. I’m a perfect victim”. Like attracts like and soon you will attract the wrong guys who read and understand those vibes and repel the men who read and understand the vibes emitted by positive women.

You don’t want to be anyone’s victim, which is how you end up attracting men who don’t value you as a person and will use you, play with you, and make you jump through hoops for their own entertainment. You must love yourself.

To love yourself means to take time out for yourself and get to know yourself and what makes you happy. Get involved in positive activities that you enjoy no matter what anyone thinks because these activities are what you enjoy. Spend time with yourself because if you don’t love spending time with yourself how do you expect anyone to want to spend time with you?

“But I don’t want to be alone. I hate it!”

Sadly, contrary to popular belief being alone for a while is the first step to loving yourself. It hurts at first but it gets easier especially if you go out, meet new people, get involved with outside activities. And getting out means that you are projecting your energy outside of yourself and appreciating life, and interacting with other people. In the process you won’t feel lonely; you will discover new things about yourself and trust your ability to make your own decisions about what makes you happy. You will start to feel more positive and that positivity will shift your brand and make yourself more desirable to yourself and others.

2. Respect yourself

When you respect yourself you don’t try to change yourself to be more ideal for someone who doesn’t accept you for who you are. When a man pulls away, harshly criticizes you, and puts you down you don’t seek to change yourself to fit his ideal because you recognize that such a person cannot be pleased and you don’t seek to please anyone but yourself. When you respect yourself you value yourself above someone else’s harsh criticisms and even though it hurts you, you won’t want to stay with someone who doesn’t accept you the way you are. If a man chooses to leave you let him go knowing its him and not you. You don’t buy a new wardrobe to make him stay, or over extend yourself on a gym membership to be thin and ideal. You do those things for yourself not for anyone else.

3. You establish boundaries

When you love yourself you establish boundaries or rules of engagement on how people treat you. loving and respecting yourself means you don’t allow people to walk all over you and take advantage of you but you don’t “put them in their place” rudely, with attitude and a “machete to kill a fly” approach. Why? Because you love and respect yourself enough to not do anything that will bring down your brand. Your brand is marketable. Your brand communicates that you are worthy of good and positive things because you are emitting good and positive energy which attracts positive people who want to bless you with positive opportunities.
It’s a vicious cycle I know but one that benefits you greatly!!!!

Do you see what I am getting at dolls?

Stay Tuned for my next entry June 16th

Your thoughts??

How your negative thoughts could be Sabotoging your Femininity

Hello Dolls!!

I’m coming to you today with part II of the Series on What Lies Beneath. I think this is important for you to read and understand so that you can harness the full Power of your Femininity without inadvertently self sabotaging your efforts with self defeating thoughts, beliefs and hang-ups. It is imperative Dolls that you get a hold of your thoughts and beliefs and make sure you are thinking and feeling positive about life so that your Femininity can shine through from the inside (where it is genuine) so that you can use it to your advantage.

Now Dolls, I’m sure many of you are saying, “Well, what does my thoughts have to do with anything? If I look and act feminine then that should be all I need!”. Well, Doll’s that thinking is the difference between immediate results that wane after a short period and a woman who understands the principles I am saying to you and can not only harness results, but do so effortlessly, gracefully, for a sustained period and hold and maintain the fruits that her power brings to her.

Ever see a woman who seems to effortlessly exude class, sophistication, femininity and grace? It’s not just her clothes because I’m sure you have seen her dressed down in flats but she still looks as amazing as when she was dressed up in a skirt (or dress), heels, the perfect purse, and perfect hair do. The key is her energy is the same no matter what she is wearing. The proof is the fact that men and women are are still drawn. She still gets double takes, smiles, and men going out of their way to bend over backwards for her. She still has that ‘it” factor. Well, the reason is simple. Her energy is positive and in a world where everyone is stressed, mad, sad, or generally feeling negative about something she is like a light that parts the grey clouds away. And they (men) gravitate towards her like a moth to a flame. She could wear a paper sack with her hair looking like she just fought a pack of rapid wolves and barely made it out alive. She will still be considered beautiful just the same (and the men will form a lynch mob to ill the wolves who dared to try and harm their precious flower- we, you and me, want you to be that precious flower that they are fighting for!)

These past few days we have had a serious cloudy and rainy spell. Its like my city is covered with one huge cloud bent on super soaking everyone and everything (though my car being power washed for free is a great thing) above ground. This past Wednesday we had a beautiful bright, clear, sunny and WARM day and let me tell you, the sour faces I seen on the street the day before were no-where in sight. Everyone was out, smiling and enjoying the beautiful day. That is who that girl is when she projects that positive energy – she is a bright sunny day that wakes up and attracts men from their familiar grey and cloudy day. And that’s what you want to do as well. True positivity from the inside out is a vehicle that your Femininity rides on out (this blog will help you with that) which in turn becomes your power.

Do you understand now why this is so important?
If not then let me put it this way. If you merely search the web and read all these amazing blogs on femininity and dress yourself up and be your most feminine self, but inside your sad, upset, and continuously engaging in negative thoughts, the energy you will put forth will sabotage your femininity which in the short term will yield you inconsistent results but in the long term will yield you the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.
Sorry, shocking but very true!

So if you are ready, then let’s begin with a few questions

Does this conversation sound familiar?

“I wish Shane would call me. God I miss him and I wish we could be together again. I know this time I can make it work with him. I will be sexier, match my panties with my bra. I’ll even throw out all my cotton panties for those thongs and g-strings. He won’t be able to resist me. I’m going to be extra feminine and pretty. I’ll grow my hair out because he used to love me with long hair. I’ll even get hair extensions or one of those lacefront thingy’s because I read that men love long hair. He really used to love mine. I’m going to wear my fitted clothes, hit the gym and wear brighter colours because he hated my drab grey and black wardrobe. By the time I’m done wowing him with my cute Feminine self he will have no choice but to give us a chance. He will love the new me! I can’t wait!”
Then you go down to the local gym, purchase an expensive membership and start planning how you will re-arrange your finances such as eating to purchase a new wardrobe. HOLD UP - stop right there.
If that conversation doesn’t sound familiar how about this one

“God there goes Emily again. Look at how Josh and Leon are practically leaning out of their chair gawking at her. Men! God, every time she comes over here they gawk, or run over to talk to her and get her whatever she wants. What’s so special about her anyway? I mean, we’re both tall, and slim. I wear makeup too so why are they so on her every time she walks over? I can’t stand her; she’s such an attention whore. That’s why she comes over here so they can gawk at her. Insecure bitch. I bet she is sleeping with one of them or she hoes around. Yea she probably hoes it up big time. That’s probably why they all fall all over her. Hmpf! I feel better now!” STOP Right there! Turn around and get back over here and continue reading.

If that conversation doesn’t sound familiar maybe this one does?

“I wish I was prettier, thinner, and bubbly like Karen. Look at how she always smiles. How can she smile all the time like that no matter what! I wish I could smile all the time but unlike Karen my life isn’t handed to me on a silver platter. She’s always so happy it’s disgusting! God, how can you be so happy all the time?? God, I wish I could smile like nothing is wrong and I have the perfect life. This job barely pays the bills, my phone bill is due soon and I don’t have the money to pay it. God I hope they don’t cut my phone off. I feel so alone all the time. I wish I had someone that loved me and took me out to places. She and Jared look so happy. I wish I had someone to come by my work and take me to lunch or send me flowers for my birthday. She must be a god faker! That’s the only way she can be so damn happy all the time. “

If any of these conversations sound familiar (even vaguely so) then my next post is especially important for you to read

Your thoughts?

What Lies Inside...?

Hey Dolls!! Hopefuly you have enjoyed my few short posts on dresses, shapewear and the books I've shared on how to be your best self in a relationship (I will revisit this topic more in depth later). I've gone over what lies beneath and how to start with a good wardrobe fundation so you can look and feel your best in any dress or skirt. So now that we have an idea about that lets adress hat lies inside...that is inside your head!

You ever hear the saying that its all in our head? Well, its true!! You have the power to do, be and think whatever you like and watch as your desires come to life!

It goes without sayng that you are what you think. If you think negative things such as, "I'm a failure, I'm ugly, fat, undesireable, unattractice etc" then thats unfortunatley what you will be. You and only you are responsible for your thoughts, what you accept as true and what you believe you deserve! So you ask yourself, well how do I do that?? I dont like my hair, I dont like my skin, I dont like my body, etc, etc, etc. Or all my life I have been told I will be nothing, I am ugly, so and so is prettier then me, or society says my body shape, size, skin tone or hair colour is not beautiful. Again whatever you accept to be true is what you will have and be.

Scenario:

Cassandra was a tall, slender and pretty dark skinned girl. She was smart, level headed and a bit shy and reserved. Ling was short, pretty asian girl who was smart, charasmatic and funny. Though she wasnt exactly slim, she owned her body and wasnt afraid of what she looked like. Talia was a pretty, petite, biracial girl who was smart, charasmatic, fun, outgoing and very confident.
Talia was the leader of the trio. She constantly was the centre of male attention with her bleach blonde hair, blue contacts, push up bra ad heavy make up. But deep down inside she wasnt very secure with herself and constantly talked about how great she was and how well she did in school.
Eventually it began to have an affect on Ling and Cassandra and they began to feel inadequate, and almost invisible when Talia was around. So ling, began wearing tighter fitting clothes, got blonde streaks in her hair and started partying heavily with Talia. Cassandra being the shy reserved one didnt quite feel like she fit in because of her height.
She felt embarassed to wear the 4 inch heels that the other girls wore because it made her feel ackward and like she towered over everyone. And though she tried wearing the heavy make up like the other girls she wasnt quite able to pull it off. She felt down on herself all the time and by the end of the semester became very depressed.

What kind of thoughts do you think were going through Cassandras head?

"I hate being so tall. If I wasnt I could wear those cute high heels like Talia and Ling without towering over everyone"

"I wish my hair was longer or lighter but I dont have the money to get streaks" "I wish I was as smart as Talia! Watch her get a higher score then me on the next test."

All of these negative thoughts made Cassandra feel inadequate and bad about herself and helped propel her deeper into depression.

Does this scenario sound familiar to you?? Do you constantly compare yourself to a friend, sibling, acquaintance or peer and list all the reasons why they are better then you in some way, all while wishing you could have those things for yourself too?

If thats you then I have a powerful tool to help you overcome those thoughts, regain control of your mind and become the person you have always wanted to be.



The Power of the Subconcious Mind

The Power of the Subconcious Mind by Joseph Murphy

I was recommended this book by an aunt and aquaintance. It focuses on how you can think yourself successful, powerful, healthy, rich and even slender. It sounds like it could be a lot of fluff but it is not. First it talks about the common mind traps of negativity that can pervade our minds and keep us trapped in a cycle of negativity, lack and want and how we unwitingly incorporate this into our belief system. Finallyt it introduces us to our subconcious mind, its role in our life and how we already have the tools to transform ourselves into what we want to be.

I dont want to give away too much because this book is a ASSET in your aresenal of femininity and it teaches you how to get a rein on negative thoughts, banish them and focus on positivity.

Case in point

Yea right you say! What does this have to do with feminity?? Wel I'll share a few reasons why

* You will smile more smile is a warm invitation for others to smile back. And believe me Dolls, a smile can net you more then just a, 'How you doin!"

*When you smile, your face muscles relax, you give off a essense of warmth, positivity and contentment and contentment draws people to you. It draws your co workers to view you as a sset to their work environment. Your boss will notice and will begin to view you in a positive light and when your boss views you that way, doors begin to open.

*A woman who is soft and feminine attracts male suitors. Suddenly, men want to be around her a lot more because her contentment attracts them.

*Now this sounds a bit...manipulative but I assure you its not intentional. Contentment in a woman results in her uncontrllable ability to exude femininity will help said woman to influence others. Its not fair, it sucks for those who dont benefit but its a reality. No use in moaning and groaning about it. Might as well get on the side of being benefited then watching it benefit someone else and feeling sour about it.

Like it or not Dolls, it does benefit the holder of such Femininity. So Dolls, go get the book and read it.

I wont give too much details behind this life changing book because I think the author does and amazing job of proving how and why this works. Besides, its not something you want to read once and set aside. Its a tool and an excellent reference once your mind has been awakened that you will want to reference again and again.

If you want to benefit from the wisdom then you have to put in the work. Its as simple as that. Your not going to get that awesome scarf at French Connection if you dont at least get in the car and drive to the mall to go get it. Same applies here.

You must put in the effort to change your situation or you will simply stay put in the situation you are in.

To harness the Power of Femininity is to take a step and walk boldly towards your goals and dreams. Till next time Dolls!

Dresses and their Power of Femininity!

Hello Dolls!!

Lately I have been in love with dresses! I dont think there is anything sexier then a woman in a well fitted beautiful dress (skirts come a close second but you know what I mean *wink*). I mean, its such a statement of femininity!!! This season bold colours and prints are in. What a great time to check out some of the beautiful styles and colours available. Now I know some of you dolls are reading this thinking, "but I'm a tomboy I cant see myself in a dress" but I cant assure you, throwing on a simple dress with heels and you will see the difference it makes in how men approach you, and treat you. Its really a remarkable thing. A dress screams femininity and requests without saying that a man be chivirous and gentleman like.

That brings me to another topic which is the importance of shoes. A good way to ruin a look is by the type of footwear you pair your outfit with. A dress and sneakers never goes together unless you really dont care about how you look and the message you are sending across in which case this blog might not be for you. The right shoes, even the right colour makes a world of difference. It either dresses you up or dresses you down and gives off the impression, depending on the footwear that your sloppy and dont really care about your appearance. I have seen so many gorgeous girls walking around in dirty shoes, mis matched shoes with outfits (for example burkenstocks paired with a pencil skirt), or sneakers with dresses. I understand one wants to be comfortable but that doesnt mean you should sacrifice a well put together appearance for comfort. There are a plethora of shoe choices that are comfortable yet stylish and affordable (my favorite word) so really there is no excuse. And for your tall girls who are afraid of height I can assure you that your height is your advantage. There is nothing more stunning then a beautiful tall woman in a gorgeous dress and killer heels. I went to a womens conference I saw a woman who in her heels was over 6 feet tall. She was STUNNING!!! She wore a fitted black dress that acentuated her shoulders and a pair of killer leopard print heels. I was so impressed that she left me speechless. I couldnt take my eyes off her and it had nothing to do with her height, or drop dead gorgeous looks but it was her confidence and how she owned her look and thus owned the room that captivate every one who set eyes on her. So to my fellow tall girls fear not. You dont have to shy away from a great pair of heels because your over 5'8.6 (*ahem* thats my height by the way*{smiles} ) *wink*

Check out a couple of my favorite pics from various sites and have a peek at this years pretty looks.

Color Block Dresses:

This shade of blue and neutral beige will flatter any skin shade and make any Doll wearing it look super soft and pretty!

Akiko Pleated Color Blocked Cami Dress

175.00 CAD

bloomingdales.com

Neutral coloured shoes are very in this season

Aqua Tube Block Dress

67.00 CAD

bloomingdales.com

{I know the dress isnt an aqua colour but that is the name none the less :)

Notice the kitten heel shoes the model is wearing. They look fabulous with this dress proving you dont need sky high heels to make a statement with every outfit.

Milly "Mara" Color-Blocked Combo Dress

$385.00 CAD

bloomingdales.com

Orange is a beautiful warm hue that looks great on all skin tones but looks especially nice on darker skin because it pops against the contrast. you can pair this with a white kitten or medium heel, or be bold and go with a canary yellow heel. Either way this dress brings you right into spring shining!

Taylor Dresses Jaquard Print Dress

$135.00

nordstrom.com

MAXI DRESSES

This beauty is super flirty and feminine. Long dresses are coming back in and are just as sexy as a short hemline. Why? It pairs a bit of mystery with the flirtaseusness of the frills and length.

H&M (your local store or online)

$29.99 CAD or $19.99 US

This silk beauty is stunning. The colours commands attention and screams confidence and the feel of the silk against your skinis sure to make you feel luxurious while you wear it. Dont shy away from this one. Its gorgeous!

Warehouse Silk Paradise Shape maxi Dress

asos.com

Embelished Maxi Dress

$98

Victoria Secret.com

SMOKED STRAPLESS DRESSES FROM VICTORIA SECRET.COM

$45 each

These are a few suggestions for fun, flirty and feminine dresses. Prints, bright colours and beiges are really in this season. Check it all out and have fun with it!

Stay tuned for my next post