Saturday, June 25, 2011

Table Manners and The Feminine Woman

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Hello Dolls!!

In this post I will be talking about the correct ways to Dining Etiquette. Now I'm sure we have all been presented with the common nightmare scenario at a dinner party or fancy restaurant on our hot date with Mr. Tall, Dark and Gorgeous and your not sure of what fork to use, how to slice your chicken, elbows on or off the table and who starts eating first.

If you have ever been in said scenario the this blog post is just for you.But in order to get the full experience lets take you through a date with Mr TDG (Tall, Dark and Gorgeous) from entrance of the restaurant through the dinner.


Chivalry is not dead

Let Mr.TDG open the door to the restaurant. It is not only chivalrous but its very feminine to allow the man to do this for you.

Once he has confirmed his reservation with the Hostess, follow the hostess to your table and allow him to pull out your chair. Don't stand beside the table and stare at him like a scolded child. Simply smile your sweetest smile and maintain your pleasantness. He will get the picture.

Conversation Time

By all means enjoy your time with Mr. TDG. What you talk about is entirely up to you and your date. Though a note to keep in mind are topics you should try to steer clear of at least till a few dates in. Politics, sex and religion especially if it's your first date. Ask questions that will allow you to get to know him and allow him to do the same for you. Try not to ramble on and dominate the conversation with unnecessary details that are too personal like excitement about your new anti-depressant pill re-fill, a crazy ex-boyfriend, the other guy your dating, or how you finally got rid of that nagging skin tag off your knee. He doesn't need to know those things and it will only shine a unflattering light and leave room for his mis-interpretation. Keep those kinds of specific details about yourself to a minimum. Keep it light, airy and flirty.

Ordering time

What do I order?? Whats best to order, and whats not?? Well, this is entirely up to you and your food preference. But if you are normally a chicken and rice for dinner type of girl don't make a beeline for the salad section on the menu and order the house garden salad with a light vinaigrette. He will see right through that healthy girl (this is what I eat all the time) act  it and you will come across fake. Be yourself and remember you are enough just the way you are! No need for airs of any type. Order what looks appetizing and what you can eat while still looking like a lady.
Now the food is here, we've had great conversation and I've left out unflattering details about myself, how do I eat this tasty food without looking like an ogre??

Napkin

Place your napkin on your lap and keep it there throughout the dinner

How to Cut your food and Fork and Knife Placement

When presented with having to slice through a particular meat on your plate you probably don't want to put the fork in your dominant hand and use it like the side of a shovel breaking up a ice patch to forcefully slice through the chicken. No, no!  Bad look.

First lets start with how to hold your knife and fork. Hold your knife in your right hand and your fork in the left. With the fork in your left hand, turn the fork so the tines (the spokes or for some sharp pointy things) are facing down toward your plate and place your index finger on the back of the fork. Use this position to insert your fork into your meat. This will allow you to place pressure on your food as you use your fork to hold it in place. Now with the knife in your left hand gently and evenly slice through your food slowly (not too slowly) till your desired piece is cut.

Once the piece of meat has been cut (be mindful not to cut a piece that's too big to fit into your mouth) use your fork, still in the same position as it was when you used it to hold the meat down, lift that food to your mouth. Then chew (mouth closed please), swallow, and enjoy! Once you have eaten all your food, place your cutlery tines up in the middle of your plate, mindful to keep your knife and fork together.

We ordered Wine, How do I drink it?

Well generally, you want to follow the  Look, Swirl, Smell, Taste rule.

Unless this is a formal wine tasting I think you can skip the Look phase where you hold it up to a white background and examine the colour of the wine. But you can still Swirl the wine in your glass to aerate the smell and release its aroma, You can give the wine a quick smell by placing your nose close to the rim of the glass and inhaling quickly and quietly (no loud sniffs please) taking note of its aroma, and type of wine it is, then you can Taste it by taking a 1/2 a mouth full, and swish it around allowing it coat your mouth. Take not of how it tastes and enjoy its exquisiteness.

Settling the Bill

The general rule of thumb is, if Mr. TDG asked you out on the date then he is to pay. When he asks for the bill don't reach for your purse when the waiter places it on the table. No! Simply keep the conversation going and allow him to pay the bill. Hopefully he is a gentleman and doesn't look to you to divvy up the bill down the middle. If he is, pay your half, don't fuss about it then never return his calls.

Hopefully this has been helpful to you Dolls  :)

Double Kisses !

Thursday, June 16, 2011

How Your Negative Thoughts may be Sabotaging your Femininity Part III

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Good evening Dolls!!


 

To continue in my series on How Your Negative Thoughts may be Sabotaging your Femininity, let's move on to Scenario 2

"God there goes Emily again. Look at how Josh and Leon are practically leaning out of their chair gawking at her. Men! God, every time she comes over here they gawk, or run over to talk to her and get her whatever she wants. What's so special about her anyway? I mean, we're both tall, and slim. I wear makeup too so why are they so on her every time she walks over? I can't stand her; she's such an attention whore. That's why she comes over here so they can gawk at her. Insecure bitch. I bet she is sleeping with one of them or she hoes around. Yea she probably hoes it up big time. That's probably why they all fall all over her. Hmpf! I feel better now!" STOP Right there! Turn around and get back over here and continue reading."

Envy is the result of disappointment with yourself and un accomplished hopes and dreams. Over time this disappointment turns into bitterness that hovers down deep and shows up when someone comes along who has achieved what you have always wanted for yourself. Of course, this isn't always so plain of an explanation to one's self so instead you find yourself "disliking this person", "not feeling her vibe" and reasoning this person's actions as negative, conniving and even purposefully spiteful to you as a person. It could be that Emily legitimately has to come down to that floor for business or she has friends down there and so happens to pass by where Josh and Leon are. Emily can't be responsible for these men's reactions to her as much as the girl in the scenario can illicit either men to change and notice her in the same way. It is what it is. Sorry, but if Emily is bubbly, smiles a lot, is witty, and has a happy countenance about her and these men gawk at her I hardly think it will stop if she decides to not come down to that floor anymore. I'd imagine that if they are reacting that way, I'd bet a million that there are more men who smile, stare or "gawk" at her too somewhere else in the building. Remember, our thoughts whether it be thinking about something that makes us feel good or it's something negative that makes us feel badly about something, either or sends out a frequency and affects our moods, demeanor, and ultimately the "vibe" we send out. That "vibe" is read by the people around us. If we are envious, jealous and generally "bad minded" towards other women the vibe we transmit tells everyone else that we are a jealous, envious and negative person who is INSECURE!! Men are very turned off by insecurity and can smell it a mile away (along with desperation-something we may or may not ever talk about here).

Insecurity undermines your femininity by keeping you in a cycle of self consciousness, self doubt, and ultimately low self esteem. Femininity and low self esteem can't co-exist with each other and still achieve the same objective of cultivating a powerful feminine energy. Femininity is about being your most confident, brightest and wonderful you. Confidence allows you to walk in a room with your head high, shoulders back and freely smile and give off an air of pleasantness because you are happy and confident with WHO you are and what YOU have to offer. You think of yourself as fabulous, you love yourself enough to not care if you're in a room with 20 pretty girls because you know you are stepping out with your best foot forward and you are enough. You're thinking positively, you're smiling and your femininity is genuine because it's coming from a real place from within that doesn't need to compete with anyone because it shines on its own merit and existence.

This is precisely the difference between a beautiful, sexy, woman who looks great yet when another pretty girl walks in the room her face immediately bends into a sour expression, her demeanor shifts, and she looks visibly displeased with the entrance of this new woman. Her confidence and beauty is superficial and she is really an insecure woman who is intimidated of the potential for this new woman to snag the attention of the men she was previously enjoying. If she truly knew she was enough, then she would smile and continue her conversation, even paying the new woman a compliment in her conversation with whomever she was speaking with. Nothing says sexier to a man when his woman or a woman is confident in herself and the fact that she is enough. He won't say, "Oh I can tell you think your enough", he will instead say, "she's very confident about herself. Hmm, what makes her so confident and content when other woman would have scoffed and become catty? There must be something different about this one. I wonder what it is". Then he will seek to figure it out. Once he is intrigued about what makes you, our sexy, confident and feminine self so different then it's the beginning grabbing and holding onto his attention to you and not the new pretty young thang that just walked in the door. And if he doesn't hold his attention on you but rudely gawks, stares or makes inappropriate comments then he's not the type of man you'd want to associate with (disrespectful, and shovanistic) anyway.


 

Does this make sense dolls??


 

I keep coming back to the same thing your thoughts! You can't escape it because it's not just what you think inside it comes across and is read by others. There is nothing worse than a pretty girl dressed femininely who looks pissed off, has an angry disposition about her and pushes everyone away with her presence. It's like a beautiful rose covered in disgusting worms; it's gorgeous but such a waste because even though you want to go near it, you dare not approach and you definitely don't want it to come near you.


 

What are your thoughts??

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

How your negative thoughts could be Sabotoging your Femininity Part II

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How your Negative Thoughts Are Sabotaging your Femininity Part II


Good evening Dolls. Thanks for your patience, life got a bit hectic but I am back with part II of my Series on What lies Beneath. I feel really passionate about this subject because I know how self destructive this type of behavior can be. Its like having a goal to build something then with every 10 bricks you lay with one hand you simultaneously take away 2 with another.

In my prior post I asked a series of questions and asked If any of those scenarios sounded familiar to you. If you answered yes to any of them please keep reading. If you haven’t then still read on, you might learn something new or if at the very least nod in agreement. So let’s get started.
Scenario 1
“I wish Shane would call me. God I miss him and I wish we could be together again. I know this time I can make it work with him. I will be sexier, match my panties with my bra. I’ll even throw out all my cotton panties for those thongs and g-strings. He won’t be able to resist me. I’m going to be extra feminine and pretty. I’ll grow my hair out because he used to love me with long hair. I’ll even get hair extensions or one of those lace front thingy’s because I read that men love long hair. He really used to love mine. I’m going to wear my fitted clothes, hit the gym and wear brighter colours because he hated my drab grey and black wardrobe. By the time I’m done wowing him with my cute Feminine self he will have no choice but to give us a chance. He will love the new me! I can’t wait!”
Then you go down to the local gym, purchase an expensive membership and start planning how you will re-arrange your finances such as eating to purchase a new wardrobe. HOLD UP - stop right there.

*taps microphone* “Is this thing on???” *tap! Tap!* “Can you hear me? Ok good.”

I’m going to cut to the chase and say this right off the bat. YOU CANT MAKE A MAN WANT YOU! NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, SAY, NO MATTER HOW YOU ACT, BEND YOURSELF INTO A PRETZEL AND MAGICALLY BECOME HIS “IDEAL” WOMAN. IF HE DESNT WANT YOU FOR YOU, HE WONT WANT YOU NO MATTER WHO, OR WHAT YOU TRANSFORM YOURSELF TO BE. Skinny, slim, pretty, bright colours, thongs, matching bras and panties and a long weave it won’t matter; he simply wont stay. But there is good news. If you stop and take stalk of why you are a wonderful, loving, worthy woman of love, affection and all the good things that life has to offer you will attract a man who will want to be with you. But wait; there is even more good news. If you love yourself on top of that, treasure your beauty, your essence, respect yourself and be a HAPPY and CONTENT woman, it will be like a strong magnet that no man can resist. You must love yourself. You must respect yourself. You must establish boundaries regarding how people treat you and what you want out of your relationships. You must be happy and have a positive countenance about yourself. You must be positive and you must be involved in life and everything it has to offer. IF YOU DON’T LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE, NO MAN WORTHY OF YOU WILL BE ATTRACTED TO YOU NOR WILL HE WANT TO BE WITH YOU!! Its harsh and for the negative, down on themselves type of woman this is like hearing that your favorite non fat ice cream really had 300 grams of fat per serving more than advertised on the package but it’s a reality and if you want to change and be the person you’ve dreamt of (deep down inside) being then this is what you have to do.

Ok, now that, that’s out of the way let me elaborate. I hope your still with me because there are some hard truths ahead that you need to hear. Yes, harder than what I just said.

1. You must love yourself

When you love yourself you treasure who you are. You accept yourself flaws and all and still think of yourself as fabulous. You recognize that those flaws exist but they don’t define who you are as a person. Combined with your abundance of amazing traits, together they make you who you are as a person and you love them just the same. When you love yourself you don’t constantly remind yourself of what you don’t like about yourself and when you make a mistake, you recognize it for what it is, a mistake and a learning experience and you move on. When you love yourself you keep fit because it makes you happy and you like being healthy. When you love yourself, you buy clothes because they look nice on you and they make you feel good. You buy them not because someone else will think it looks amazing on you (thus trying to please someone else), but because you think it looks great on you and you TRUST your own judgment. Trusting yourself and loving yourself goes hand in hand. You trust your own judgment, you trust your gut (vital!), you believe in yourself and your ability to accomplish whatever you set your mind to, you own your own domain, your brand, what makes you the fabulous person you are. You, as a beautiful, vital woman are your own brand each and every time you walk out the door, and your brand speaks about you every time you interact with other people including your co workers, your boss, dry cleaner, family, boy friend’s and most importantly other men.

“What does she mean by brand??”

Your brand is similar to the brand of a product except you are the product. For example, Pepsi is a brand and the Pepsico Company markets their product as a refreshing beverage. They pepper their commercials with smiling happy people, holding their product, interacting and having fun. Then comes the refreshing gulp and the commercial ends with a smiling and quenched Pepsi drinker. Same applies to you without the millions of dollars in advertising commercials.

You are a brand. But the advertising is not just in what you wear and how you carry yourself (that matters too but we won’t broach that topic very much in this post) but in how you feel, what you think and how you view the world. If you constantly focus on the bad, and negative things happening, if you don’t love yourself enough to want to make yourself happy for you, if you constantly try to re-brand yourself to fit someone else’s ideal and if you constantly think negatively of who you are as a person then you will send out a negative vibe that say, “I’m not worthy of anything good, so don’t waste your time on me. I’m a negative person who hates life, and I have nothing good to offer myself, you or anyone else. I’m a perfect victim”. Like attracts like and soon you will attract the wrong guys who read and understand those vibes and repel the men who read and understand the vibes emitted by positive women.

You don’t want to be anyone’s victim, which is how you end up attracting men who don’t value you as a person and will use you, play with you, and make you jump through hoops for their own entertainment. You must love yourself.

To love yourself means to take time out for yourself and get to know yourself and what makes you happy. Get involved in positive activities that you enjoy no matter what anyone thinks because these activities are what you enjoy. Spend time with yourself because if you don’t love spending time with yourself how do you expect anyone to want to spend time with you?

But I don’t want to be alone. I hate it!”

Sadly, contrary to popular belief being alone for a while is the first step to loving yourself. It hurts at first but it gets easier especially if you go out, meet new people, get involved with outside activities. And getting out means that you are projecting your energy outside of yourself and appreciating life, and interacting with other people. In the process you won’t feel lonely; you will discover new things about yourself and trust your ability to make your own decisions about what makes you happy. You will start to feel more positive and that positivity will shift your brand and make yourself more desirable to yourself and others.

2. Respect yourself

When you respect yourself you don’t try to change yourself to be more ideal for someone who doesn’t accept you for who you are. When a man pulls away, harshly criticizes you, and puts you down you don’t seek to change yourself to fit his ideal because you recognize that such a person cannot be pleased and you don’t seek to please anyone but yourself. When you respect yourself you value yourself above someone else’s harsh criticisms and even though it hurts you, you won’t want to stay with someone who doesn’t accept you the way you are. If a man chooses to leave you let him go knowing its him and not you. You don’t buy a new wardrobe to make him stay, or over extend yourself on a gym membership to be thin and ideal. You do those things for yourself not for anyone else.

3. You establish boundaries

When you love yourself you establish boundaries or rules of engagement on how people treat you. loving and respecting yourself means you don’t allow people to walk all over you and take advantage of you but you don’t “put them in their place” rudely, with attitude and a “machete to kill a fly” approach. Why? Because you love and respect yourself enough to not do anything that will bring down your brand. Your brand is marketable. Your brand communicates that you are worthy of good and positive things because you are emitting good and positive energy which attracts positive people who want to bless you with positive opportunities.
It’s a vicious cycle I know but one that benefits you greatly!!!!

Do you see what I am getting at dolls?

Stay Tuned for my next entry June 16th

Your thoughts??
 

The Power of Femininity

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